James 1:12

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

3 Months Down and Delays

3 Months Down and Delays

I have been trying to post this blog for a week or 2 and my iPad will not let me....so I don't post.   Then a friend asked me what was going on in adoption world since there wasn't a new post.....
And that is it... No news, or at least good news.   So here is the news, bad and all.  And I am sad.  Sad. Sad.

It seems since the fall 2013 everything is slowing down, WAY down in adoption world. There has been few first approvals (thai government approval to adopt) and fewer children coming home to their families.   First new DSDW board members, then unfortunately the protests caused more delays and disruptions of all Thai governments, and now, one of the social workers changed positions and 2 new social workers are being trained to process US adoptions.   (With 2 SW replacing 1 SW I pray things begin to turn around)

Three months ago, when we were matched, our wait time for travel was 12 months.  Current time frames, families have been waiting up to 17 months!     A year is too long to wait to bring your child home.  A year and a half is outrageous!!!!

I am personally having the most difficult time waiting.  At 3 months in, I know, there are so many other families waiting longer than us, I should not feel this bad. (I feel guilty)  Some days I wonder if I'm going to be able to endure the wait.

First I need to get all unrealistic expectations out of my thoughts.  Beginning with the first timeline, we were told a 9-12 mo wait to bring our child home....now it is doubled!  17mo and counting.
We were expecting bringing home a child around 17mo.old.   Our Button is 14 mo old now, it looks like he might be 2 1/2 years old (by the current time frames) when he is home.

 Honestly, his age when he is home is not nearly as difficult as the current wait time to bring him home.  The wait times are just not fair.  I do not want anyone waiting this long to bring their child home.   No one should.

Sadly, it is time to send his second care package and I cannot bring myself to even get it together.  I should be excited and ready to send it to the day of the 3 month anniversary.  I wanted to wait to send it after we received his update, but guess what....delayed!   I really don't know why I thought it would be on time NOTHING has been on time so far.   So if this package is a week later out then the rest of our care packages will be a week set back.  Boo.

The wait is not just affecting me, but our whole family.   Jude cannot wait to have her little brother home, yet she has a hard time understanding why we cannot go to Thailand and get him.
    One day when my mom was watching her, she was carrying a map of Thailand, and said she
needed to think about Thailand.
     Another day before pre school she looked at his picture and told me she missed him (all teary eyed).
     And my favorite was the day she told me how she had dreamt of her brother and they were playing together having fun.  

I feel I need to say something positive, at a year and a half into our adoption, we were matched in 9 months, 3 months before we were estimated.   We are half way through the estimated 30-36 month timeframe to bring our button home.  

We met a family thru Holt's Winter Jam concert and have encouraged them to pursue international adoption. Yay!
   
So this black cloud needs to move on.


   Let's pray for peace in Thailand, the adoption board is able to approve families, and all our children are home soon.

The day I did not order Thai

Wednesday January 8th was a DSDW board date in Thailand adoption world.  Every board date since we began the process of adopting our child I have ordered lunch off the Thai menu of the Asian restaurant across the street, hoping to bring good news to the waiting families and the hopes of a referral.    Today, I forgot to order Thai!  I was so distracted, I kept going back and forth from pad thai, sunset fried rice, veggie lo main, or sesame chicken.....last minute I ordered veggie lo main and chicken with mixed vegetables....too much food and something I never order.

     So let me give you some insight to why I was so distracted, yesterday, the electricity was shut off for mainence check.  Ok middle of winter, it's not cold here..(sarcasm). 2 hours or so, it was getting chilly, gas fire place, check we were toasty.   That morning, after a flush, my toilet didn't sound right...ah no worries, I'll flush again later it will be fine....by evening I thought I'll try flushing again, no worries, not working right, Steve will be home tomorrow, he can plunge it.   (ie. I HATE plunging,  it totally grosses me out!  Germ-a-phobe  right here.   The thought of germs sloshing around, vapors in the air...egk...gross....Can. Not. Deal.   So house is cold I'm going to take a shower (shower stall type). Ummmm drain in shower not working!!!   Agghh.  Water is tipping the brim!   What the crap!   I cave and plunge the shower, the toilet.   Not. Working.  Gross!!!!  Steve's shower is working, (and yes we have separate bathrooms, life is better this way).
     The next morning, I have to sign Jude up for pre school.   I wake up because I am so COLD!
It is 55 degrees in my house!!!!   Why is that light not on!  Power is out again!!    Ugh.  School is closed again, it is less than 7 degrees out side.   School is closed, no preschool sign ups (been trying to sign her up since Monday and it's canceled, taking off work to stand in line to get into "the preschool" with only 12 spots!).    Ugh no electric, it is estimated to turn on by 8-9pm....."Baby it's cold outside" singing in my head.

So back to my lunch order,  between us 3 ladies we were ready to eat!  We each had multiple orders, 2 items each.   I was making the call, cause we are on first name basis.   Half way thru the order, my
phone rings,  it's Holt!  (With my special ring tone).  I stare at it.   Toss the work phone to my colleague point to where I am on the list and run into the splinting room!    And in a professional voice, I hear, "hello Michelle,  this is Jessica from Holt in the Thailand program".....(do you really think I don't know who you are!)  " I just tried calling your husband and he didn't answer"...( he never does when he is out of town.  But I'm really thinking you called him first!!!!   Really!!!! )  Ha ha.  In my excitement, I gather myself together,  and tell her it's a great time to talk.   I hear the most beautiful words a mother could hear.   "We have a little boy referral for you to consider."  Ahhh.  She goes into some details about his story, (which will be his to tell if he chooses).    Then asks, "would you like to look at his file".  Of course!

  We have a son!  Born on valentines day.  Precious little boy, you give me a reason to celebrate that dreadful holiday!   Yay.

Steve is on his way home, I wanted to look at the file together,  but wait no electricity!   I talk to him
and we decide I open the file at work (it's more secure at the clinic anyways)   I was also able to
securely send his pediatrician his files.   I should hear from her tomorrow, no worries.

I have to pick Jude up from my mom and dads,  holy cow, must contain excitement around them!  2 hour visit, waiting on Steve to check if electric is on at our house so we can look at our little button's files together.  We decide not to go to our small group meeting at church, we know everyone will ask, how is the adoption going...(.there is NO WAY we would be able to sit with a straight face) plus we cannot wait any longer to see our SON!  Electric is on!  Jude and I head home, praises she fell asleep.  Steve and I can look at his file in quiet.   Look at our SON!     It doesn't matter what the doc might find.       He is ours, we are his  Family.

Random things I do not want to forget:
 Saturday Jude started introducing herself, my name is Jude Elizabeth, big girl sister.  I think she knew something.
  Jude was registered for preschool, #8 slot!  Referral on the 8th.
  Steve said he thought something good was going to happen on the 8th, I on the other hand, was not
expecting our referral.
   8 is my number of choice, or favorite number.

In this whirlwind of our referral, there was a chemical leak, don't drink the water (DMB in my head) it has contaminated multiple counties, over 300,000 people affected.    Holy cow!!!   Luckily we are in a different water service than most people around us!     The clinic was closed as well as everything else.

We had our families over for dinner on Sunday January 12 for dinner, half of them did not have water,  and told them of our new SON!

On January 14 we emailed our acceptance note.

January 20 sent out our paperwork and first care package.

Hopefully all our acceptance paper work will be sent out to Thailand on Friday

Roller Coaster

September 1, 2013 Steve and I rode our first roller coaster, the Big Dipper at Camden Park.  And we lived!  If you don't know about Camden Park, it is an amusement park that opened around 1900 and I think that roller coaster was built then!
How can we be married 5 years and dated 4 and never been on a roller coaster together? No idea. Cause this girl loves roller coasters, I rode my first roller coaster when I was 8 years old and too short, (my mom put wood chips in my shoes so I would be tall enough) to ride The Beast!  The rest of the story consists of me passing out, my mom flipping out thinking I almost died lol, (there was only a hand rail back then, not the over the shoulder braces they have now).  But that set my determination to never give up.  The next year, I was really tall enough and rode every ride!   I once rode the Vortex at Kings Island over 7 times in a row without getting sick! (Given no lines that day!).

Little did we know a year ago, to the date God was leading us to begin the adoption process.  We had been discussing adoption since February 2012, and in September we applied to our agency (will post that blog entry soon, it is on our FB page Why Adoption).   And adoption is like a roller coaster, many ups and downs, twists and turns.   And an emotional roller coaster, whoa.   Let me tell ya!  The week before Thanksgiving we received an email from Holt asking if we would consider a certain medical condition, like a calm and reserved girl I am (he he) I emailed back that Steve and I would discuss it and get back with her.   We looked into the condition, it was a no brainer, of course we would accept a child (adoption special needs are so different than what we consider special needs, that's a whole new post).    Email sent back with a yes and no response.  I caved the next day.  I called.   I needed to know what was going on.  Was there a child for us?  Why ask so specifically about a condition if there wasn't.   Do they really know what referrals are coming in and don't tell us?  Were referrals on the way?   Yes. This is my head.   I think I'm loosing it ha ha   Not really.    I'm sure our girls at the agency dread my calls from here on out lol.
   Basically, some of our papers did not match from our dossier to the medical conditions check list.
Our dossier was vague.  No kidding on that one.  Our dossier took longer than I wanted, because our case worker wanted everything to match...monies, dates, etc.   I pay attention to details, and I could not figure out how it was all to match with dates and monies always changing....ugh.   When we received our final copy of the dossier, I was conserned about the type of child we would consider section, because it was so vague.  We discussed medical conditions in detail, like 1 1/2 hours! And I explained to her what those conditions were!  that was the section she skimped on! Ugh!  

Good news is we are close to knowing who our child is.   Our adoption agency is going the extra step to make sure children are matched with the right families.   Our turn is near!  If not January, then April.  Yay!  

Please don't be offended if I do not return emails, texts, or phone calls as quickly as I once did, I'm trying to stay busy... keep myself busy.  I'm focusing on a rediculously addictive candy game.   Christmas shopping is complete, except those who will not tell me what to get them.....
Time to enjoy the season, love my family and God.


Please friends, keep us in your prayers, our child in your prayers as well as the birth mother and foster family.

Single Digits Baby!

We found out today we are officially in single digits!!

And by single digits, we are number 5!     Woot woot!

What does that mean for us, it means within 5 months we could know who our child is!  See his/her face!   We found out there is a mix of boy/girl in front of us on the wait strip, that means it really is a toss wether we are matched with a boy or girl!!!
The next referral group is due out in December, but with the past delays, I would expect January.   But seriously, there is a chance our babe could be in that referral group!  Insert clip from "Dumb and Dumber" There's a chance!"  (1 in a million).   Really it's not that far off.
 The last time I spoke to our agency our est. referral is March. This last time when I asked, they both avoided a deffinate estimate.   Am I reading into their response too much.....yes I'm sure.

   But WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!!

I cannot describe how excited I am!  If I could do back hand springs I would.
Literally every where I go!

Praises to Jesus!   He is with us every step of the way.

Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

June is over!

So yes June has been over for two months now.  I know that.   But June's significance is referral month!!!   In July we were to know our new number on the wait strip.  July came and went. Our agency explained there was several reasons for the delays and they were still expecting refferals. Into August there is still no news of referrals or our new number.
Then Finally, 3 families were matched with their children.  Yay!

Beginning our adoption journey, we knew it would be a long process.   Stepping back, looking at the time frames, I thought we can handle this.  Every month or so we would get an update, every quarter a refferal group, and we would get an update on our number.  It didn't seem too bad.  We would stay busy, enjoy ourselves with our daughter and families.  Time would pass and we would soon meet our child from Thailand.
  I knew there could be delays with adoption, natural disasters, programs closing, etc.   I don't know why the delays with one referral month set me a little cray cray.  I wasn't thinking "delays will not happen to us". I knew they could.   I didn't start this process thinking that way.  Maybe it was because it was our first number change. Maybe it's God giving me a reality check.   Whatever the reason, please Lord let me handle it with grace.

Sometimes I feel guilty being excited for our new number, with that number change, means a mother has made the hardest decision of her life, another orphan is in the world.  Yet with that, there is a family eagerly awaiting the news of the matching of their child.  There will be less orphans in the world with each referral month.

So we are the last (for us). And the first (for most). This will be our last time in double digits!
We are number.........

10

With that number we were informed our agency is still expecting a March referral for our family.  That is only 7 months away!