Roller Coaster

September 1, 2013 Steve and I rode our first roller coaster, the Big Dipper at Camden Park.  And we lived!  If you don't know about Camden Park, it is an amusement park that opened around 1900 and I think that roller coaster was built then!
How can we be married 5 years and dated 4 and never been on a roller coaster together? No idea. Cause this girl loves roller coasters, I rode my first roller coaster when I was 8 years old and too short, (my mom put wood chips in my shoes so I would be tall enough) to ride The Beast!  The rest of the story consists of me passing out, my mom flipping out thinking I almost died lol, (there was only a hand rail back then, not the over the shoulder braces they have now).  But that set my determination to never give up.  The next year, I was really tall enough and rode every ride!   I once rode the Vortex at Kings Island over 7 times in a row without getting sick! (Given no lines that day!).

Little did we know a year ago, to the date God was leading us to begin the adoption process.  We had been discussing adoption since February 2012, and in September we applied to our agency (will post that blog entry soon, it is on our FB page Why Adoption).   And adoption is like a roller coaster, many ups and downs, twists and turns.   And an emotional roller coaster, whoa.   Let me tell ya!  The week before Thanksgiving we received an email from Holt asking if we would consider a certain medical condition, like a calm and reserved girl I am (he he) I emailed back that Steve and I would discuss it and get back with her.   We looked into the condition, it was a no brainer, of course we would accept a child (adoption special needs are so different than what we consider special needs, that's a whole new post).    Email sent back with a yes and no response.  I caved the next day.  I called.   I needed to know what was going on.  Was there a child for us?  Why ask so specifically about a condition if there wasn't.   Do they really know what referrals are coming in and don't tell us?  Were referrals on the way?   Yes. This is my head.   I think I'm loosing it ha ha   Not really.    I'm sure our girls at the agency dread my calls from here on out lol.
   Basically, some of our papers did not match from our dossier to the medical conditions check list.
Our dossier was vague.  No kidding on that one.  Our dossier took longer than I wanted, because our case worker wanted everything to match...monies, dates, etc.   I pay attention to details, and I could not figure out how it was all to match with dates and monies always changing....ugh.   When we received our final copy of the dossier, I was conserned about the type of child we would consider section, because it was so vague.  We discussed medical conditions in detail, like 1 1/2 hours! And I explained to her what those conditions were!  that was the section she skimped on! Ugh!  

Good news is we are close to knowing who our child is.   Our adoption agency is going the extra step to make sure children are matched with the right families.   Our turn is near!  If not January, then April.  Yay!  

Please don't be offended if I do not return emails, texts, or phone calls as quickly as I once did, I'm trying to stay busy... keep myself busy.  I'm focusing on a rediculously addictive candy game.   Christmas shopping is complete, except those who will not tell me what to get them.....
Time to enjoy the season, love my family and God.


Please friends, keep us in your prayers, our child in your prayers as well as the birth mother and foster family.

Single Digits Baby!

We found out today we are officially in single digits!!

And by single digits, we are number 5!     Woot woot!

What does that mean for us, it means within 5 months we could know who our child is!  See his/her face!   We found out there is a mix of boy/girl in front of us on the wait strip, that means it really is a toss wether we are matched with a boy or girl!!!
The next referral group is due out in December, but with the past delays, I would expect January.   But seriously, there is a chance our babe could be in that referral group!  Insert clip from "Dumb and Dumber" There's a chance!"  (1 in a million).   Really it's not that far off.
 The last time I spoke to our agency our est. referral is March. This last time when I asked, they both avoided a deffinate estimate.   Am I reading into their response too much.....yes I'm sure.

   But WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!!

I cannot describe how excited I am!  If I could do back hand springs I would.
Literally every where I go!

Praises to Jesus!   He is with us every step of the way.

Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

June is over!

So yes June has been over for two months now.  I know that.   But June's significance is referral month!!!   In July we were to know our new number on the wait strip.  July came and went. Our agency explained there was several reasons for the delays and they were still expecting refferals. Into August there is still no news of referrals or our new number.
Then Finally, 3 families were matched with their children.  Yay!

Beginning our adoption journey, we knew it would be a long process.   Stepping back, looking at the time frames, I thought we can handle this.  Every month or so we would get an update, every quarter a refferal group, and we would get an update on our number.  It didn't seem too bad.  We would stay busy, enjoy ourselves with our daughter and families.  Time would pass and we would soon meet our child from Thailand.
  I knew there could be delays with adoption, natural disasters, programs closing, etc.   I don't know why the delays with one referral month set me a little cray cray.  I wasn't thinking "delays will not happen to us". I knew they could.   I didn't start this process thinking that way.  Maybe it was because it was our first number change. Maybe it's God giving me a reality check.   Whatever the reason, please Lord let me handle it with grace.

Sometimes I feel guilty being excited for our new number, with that number change, means a mother has made the hardest decision of her life, another orphan is in the world.  Yet with that, there is a family eagerly awaiting the news of the matching of their child.  There will be less orphans in the world with each referral month.

So we are the last (for us). And the first (for most). This will be our last time in double digits!
We are number.........

10

With that number we were informed our agency is still expecting a March referral for our family.  That is only 7 months away!

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."

Glimpse into the Future

Today I found out what it might feel like to get "the call".

Jude an I had an eventful summer day. We went to a play date at the splash park, about an hour in, she put her hands and feet in the spray.  This little girl hates to get her hair and face wet.  As everyone left for nap times, we decided to forgo naps today and head straight to the pool.  As the evening pool crowd arrives we pack up and head home.
We are eating snacks on the couch, trying to gather energy for baths and dinner, I hear my cell phone ringing.  At first I'm thinking what is that ring????  Oh yeah Holt's ringtone.   HOLT's RINGTONE!!!!!!   In a mad scurry I leap over the coffee table, trip on my shoe, and slide into the pool bag where my phone is at the bottom!

[I'm thinking in my head, I just got an email stating refferrals are still delayed and you do not have a new number ( duh).]

At least I made it to the phone....I calmly answer, Hello  (in my raspy, 80 year old smoker voice...summer allergies are killing me and I can barely talk). This little chipper voice says hi this is "girl" from Holt.  (We will refer to her as girl because I don't want to disclose her name, she must be an intern).  "Did you receive the information on your child"

As I stammer "WHAT....Child!"
Girl. "Your child from Holt". And a long pause.
Uhhhmmm.  We are in the process of adopting, what child.....
Girl. "Oh that's what your husband said, ha ha I'm talking about the child you chose to sponsor through Holt.  What do you mean your adopting? Who are you adopting through?"
So I explain to her we are adopting with Holt etc etc.

Really, my heart bout jumped out.    If you just spoke to my husband and he told you the same thing I did. Why did you begin our conversation, with, did you get the info on your child!!!!
I hope she is just an intern cause I'd hate for this to happen to someone else, they might not take it as lightly as I did..... Just annoyed a little.

Ok so after that trial run, I'm ready for the call!

Oh what a day!  I think I got too much sun.  :)

Ugh

So last time I said something about [the next time I blog we will have a new number]

Scratch that!

We received an update email, usually every month or so, that said x amount of approvals and travels !YAY!  Some of those families have been waiting so so long.  !YAY!  They are getting closer to getting their babes!

But no referrals for June's referral group! Boo.

So my impression so far......hurry get your paper work in.   All the dossier prep ready. Get approval.  Get a number on the wait strip. Wait for referral month. Get a new number.....wait.   It's past referral month.....wait some more....referrals?  not yet...wait some more....more delays....enough already!
My emotions are on a roller coaster!  Excitement.   Despair.  Suspense.  Despair. Ugh!

But I think this feels familiar.....  Oh yeah,  like not getting pregnant.  Meet with OB, take vitamins....wait.....do ovulation kits.....wait....week and half later go through 12 pregnancy tests in 6 days (and yes I was a little compulsive about it) only to say negative.....6 more months of trying later......meet with RE.....wait some more....emotional roller coaster......Excitement.   Despair.  Suspense.  Despair. Ugh!  

Enough of my silliness....

I know God has a plan and everything is in his timing.  We may not always understand his timings. Ya kno.

It's June!

In case you didn't know, June is referral month for our agency.  Our agency has referral groups every 3 months.    Somewhere between 1 and 7 children are placed for adoption.   That means our number on the wait strip will decrease, leading us closer to meeting our Thai Button!   I cannot wait to see what our new number will be....

We are on a private FB group of families adopting or have adopted from Thailand. It is so nice to have this group for support during our long wait.   But it can also make me very anxious (lol).   We were talking about the wait strip the other day, (as soon as referral month starts everyone starts to stir) and it is thought numbers 1-7 are waiting for a girl, with maybe one family open to either gender.   From Number 8 to 14 we know one family requesting a boy, one a girl, and two families open to either gender.    Given we are #14, open to either gender,  that leaves us with 3 waiting for boys or either gender and 3 unknowns ahead of us on the wait strip.   So maybe....if all the stars align and it's in God's plan.....There is a chance we could be matched sooner than we thought.  Maybe.........  There really is no way knowing....but it's fun to think about.

So this has been heavy on my heart, with our group it seems wait times are increasing.  Some families have waited almost 2 years for a referral, and the wait time to bring your child home has increased to averaging 1 year!  I cannot imagine knowing the face of my child and having to wait that long to bring him home.  I pray for God to give me the strength.
I couldn't sleep last night, so randomly I checked the adoption programs from the agency we decided not to go with.   They have a new program, ( that maybe if we chose them they would have offered that program to us) the estimated wait time is 12-16 months! And the age of the child is 6-12 months!  WOW.   Considering  our wait time is estimated 3 years!

 Honestly.   We are not changing programs or even entertaining the idea.   We truly believe God has a plan for our family.  He closed many doors before we found our agency and the Thailand program.
There is absolutely a reason we are here and where we are at this stage in our adoption process.

Last night I opened my Bible App. on my iPad and this is the verse it opened to.......

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you
know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2, 3 NIV)

So this time next month we will know our new number on the wait strip and be that much closer to meeting our little Thai Button.

USCIS FINGER PRINTING COMPLETE

We completed our USCIS finger printing today!  Yay!  one more step closer.

And sure enough, my prints would not read.   After 15 minutes of trying the tech said, "take this lotion, rub lightly on your fingertips and then scrape it off with a credit card."

Steve was in and out in less than 5 minutes.   So I went in again, and 20 minutes later we had an approved reading on my fingers.   geez!!

I have specific instructions if/when we return in 15 months, use Corn Huskers lotion and lay off the hand sanitizer.  

We did it!

So, I'm sorry if I whined a little or a lot in my last post.  I can get a little emotional at times.  

To think of All the work we have put into our dossier, (must be compared to getting a MBA) and having one sentence not correct, placing us on hold.  Not knowing if we still had our potential number.  I have been a mess.  Did I mention I'm a bit of a perfectionist.   I don't handle that kind of rejection well.  So pressing on our medical reports were corrected, sent out over night mail, and .........

It's official.  Our dossier is complete!  All papers are signed, sealed, and Approved!!!
We are on the wait list!

Praise Jesus!     We are number.............

Can you believe it!  It did not change!    Woohoo!

This means we will still have to wait around 1 to 1 1/2 years to meet our little Thai button.  Holt has referrals every March, June, September, and December.  Gradually our number will decrease depending on the amount of children placed for adoption.  Placing us closer to meeting our babe.


What can you do?
Pray for our family as we wait.  Pray for our friends' adoptions.  Pray for our child's birth mother.
Pray for our little Thai button.

A little update

I don't know if anyone actually follows our blog, but in case you do, I feel I need to update it.  If you noticed my last blog changed,  I thought we were number 14 on the wait list.  When I turned in our dossier I thought we were done.  Nothing else could go wrong.  We had a number!    So our person at Holt said we tentatively, could be 14 on the wait list.    Of course I am ecstatic. I literally wait 2 seconds to tell my family and a few friends.   I even posted it on the group I follow......
Then we get the email our dossier is not accepted.  Our medical report did not specifically state we were free from HIV and TB!           WHAT!

Luckily we just need to add the additional letter.   Thank The Lord we do not have to send our entire dossier back to the Secretary of State and Thai Embassay.
But our luck strikes again. Our dr is out that week so we have to wait until the next week to be tested, with results taking up to 10 days.    So here we are waiting again.

Waiting

Waiting

WAITING

I talked to our person at Holt today,  just to give her a heads up of what was going on.  And ya know I had to ask if we were still looking at number 14, and she couldn't give me an answer, just somewhere around there.     My heart is a little heavy today.

I knew our adoption adventure would be full of obstacles and waiting,   I also thought now would be the only time frame we could control.   Boy O Boy was I ever wrong.  God has a plan.  I keep telling myself this.  He is in control, only HIM.   Our child just might not be number14.  Only God knows. 

Dossier Complete!

Finally!  Our dossier is complete!   We sent it to Holt today, and will get a number soon.
So a little update on our time frames.
Home study complete 2/12/13
Received completed, notarized copies 3/8/13! (Really almost a month later!)

On March 12, Jude and I went to the state Capitol to get our dossier State seal of approval.  Here I thought I would get a cute picture of Jude at the Capitol, like I had seen in some other blogs I follow. But no....Jude was being her sassy self and refused to get in a picture.  Two year olds are so funny. We never know what they will say or do next.
Upon arriving at the Capitol, Jude said look mommy a castle!  Are we going to see a princess? Ummm...probably not.   And I guess it's kind-of like a castle in an exaggerated way......

Well let me tell you, as we were waiting for our turn we were told we could walk around the dome.
And guess what we saw!  Princesses!    All kinds of girls with MISS "so in so" sashes and crowns and dresses!   Our trip to the state Capitol will forever be the day we went to the castle with all the princesses.

Dossier was sent to US Secretary of State and Thai Embassy on March 13!


Look at all that work!  

Yesterday we received our dossier back from the embassy with all seals, stamps, and approval!  
Today we sent out our Dossier to Holt!  WhoooHooo!  Tracking it of course.  Hopefully my next post will be our wait list number.   Shooting for 14,  So that probably means we still have a year until we meet our little Thai button!

Jude's Thoughts and more

Since we have started the adoption process, we occasionally ask Jude random questions on her thoughts of having a sibling.   We began when she was around 2 1/2 years old.
First question is always,  would you like to be a big sister?
          Jude- Yes!!
Would you like a little brother or sister?
          Jude- A SISTER!  So we will be the same!  (Hence this answer must come from her obsession of Tinker Bell and The Secret of the Wings we watch at least once a week.)


Yes, little one in God's eyes we are all the same.


I loved the other day she walked up to me and said,  "I love Thailand...with the elephants and dragons."

Not sure where that came from, other than I caught her looking at one of our Thailand culture and travel books we have recently purchased.

This past Sunday she opened up to the idea of accepting a brother,  She said, yes I could have a brother like (cousin) Brady. lol

So in our home study we were approved to adopt twins!!!  I couldn't be more delighted.  Steve on the other hand "twins are not that common"   I believe that is entirely up to God.  If we were to naturally become pregnant again, there might be a slim chance of twins......  I do not want to miss any opportunity we might have for a referral.  I look at adoption just as I would with a biological child/children.  God has already chosen what is in store for us.  We are just waiting on HIS timing.
We are open to either a boy or girl whatever God has chosen for us.    I do love the idea of Jude having a sister, I think this just comes from growing up with a sister and how close we are.  Yet a brother is not such a bad thing either.  Jude and her sibling could be anywhere from 2 1/2 to 4 years age difference.  

So keep us in your prayers.  We are still waiting on Steve's passport for our dossier.....and then on to approval.  

Bwwaaaha ha ha ha

So really! The FBI has denied my fingerprints AGAIN!!!  All 3 copies!!  Due to unclear reading.....REALLY.

The other day, I was finger printed at work for our new drug abuse prevention program.  It's a nation wide pilot program.  They scan your fingerprint to make sure you do not pick up the wrong prescription  drugs or the wrong medical chart when you see one of our doctors or therapists.  (pretty cool)  

And guess what! My fingerprints were perfect!!! 

Luckily our social worker made a mistake and Holt does not require FBI fingerprints for our home study to be complete!  YAY!  Home study is officially complete...Holt approved...now on to the Dossier.

I feel our home study was an epic fail...I wanted it done in record time of 2 months...it was one of the few timeframes we could control.   God has other plans.  HE has the master plan.  There is a reason, HIS.  

Moving along to the Dossier.  A whole new can of questions and miles of paperwork.  Collect items 1-20...check!  Even the psych. eval is complete!  The only thing we are missing is Steve's Passport!  Who knows where it is.....gone.  Everything is together but His passport! Marriage license, birth certificates, my passport....but not Steve's.  Why is it not there who knows.  

Once again we are WAITING on one little detail.   And once again it takes additional time to compete...extra paperwork...bla bla bla.

Psalms 26:2

"Test me Lord, and try me, examine my heart and mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness."

Big Week!!

Finally!!
The results are in!   It is deemed I am not a criminal.
Home study is at Holt waiting for approval!!

So we are moving on to the next pile of paperwork. The dossier.  Hopefully I have a good start on that...  I think many of the papers needed are duplicates.

Finger Prints!

Who would think my fingerprints would be holding us up on completing our home study!!  After having them consecutively taken for my previous position, WVBTT, with only one retake. 

So I have been denied by the State 3 times and the FBI once.  I should have been a secret spy like Jennifer Garner in Alias.  

So I thought, this is the only time frame we can control?  Ha ha GODs timing alone!  He has a plan.  This really is all in HIS timing. 

We have proof read our home study, made corrections, it should be sitting on our case workers desk ready to send to Holt for approval.   We just need the clearance on my fingers. 

In the mean time, we are collecting the papers for our dossier.   Papers, documents, notarized, pictures, and repeat.   Let me tell ya!  More paper work than I have ever seen in my life.   

Almost ready!

Home Inspection

Jan 10, 2013 was our home inspection.  I don't think we ever cleaned our home more throughly or made our home more safe than we did when in prepping for this day.  Only to find out we were "only" three escape ladders short.  Aside from that, we were told we were approved for adoption and our home study would be finalized when we received the results from my fingerprints.   Only to learn that AGAIN they were not accepted.  Hopefully lucks the charm for a 3rd time.

December 2012

December 13, 2012 is our first official home study interview.   I was notified my fingerprints were rejected and I would have to have them retaken.

November 2012

After trudging along we finally seem to get things completed and turned in to our home study agency.  November 1, 2012 we had our fingerprints completed and the whole packet was sent out later that week.   We were told our first interview is going to be pushed into December due to Thanksgiving Holiday.  

Homestudy

We began our home study in October.  It was a very slow start and honestly the home study has been the longest and most drawn out process ever.   Steven was out of town for work off and on and it was an impossible task for me to complete the paperwork by myself.   Like any typical family the winter months brought sickness which seemed to last forever.  In reality it was only a week or so.   Nevertheless, the process seemed to be one of the most frustrating things we have done.  Between trying to get into doctors appointments for our physical exams, ALL the documents (i.e. birth certificates, marriage licenses etc.)  and finger printing the process seemed to go on forever.   

Thailand Approved

We were officially accepted into Holt's Thailand program on October 5, 2012!  We received an email from a Holt Thailand director requesting a phone interview on October 9th.

Application

On Oct 3, 2012 we officially submitted our application to Holt.

Where to start?

Throughout the month of September, I spent time researching different adoption agencies, home study agencies and countries.   Looking at the criteria for each country we had difficulty making a decision.  We reached out to several agencies for guidance, with Holt being the most responsive.   On September 13th we applied for the adoption packet through Holt.

Hatteras Beach Vacation 2012

On our Hatteras Beach vacation, we began seriously discussion adoption.  We have gone to Hatteras ever year since we started dating.  It is something we always look forward to and this year was no different.  However, at this point in our families lives we started a serious discussion that would start our adoption journey.