Monday, April 28, 2014
James 1:12
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."
Saturday, April 26, 2014
3 Months Down and Delays
3 Months Down and Delays
I have been trying to post this blog for a week or 2 and my iPad will not let me....so I don't post. Then a friend asked me what was going on in adoption world since there wasn't a new post.....
And that is it... No news, or at least good news. So here is the news, bad and all. And I am sad. Sad. Sad.
It seems since the fall 2013 everything is slowing down, WAY down in adoption world. There has been few first approvals (thai government approval to adopt) and fewer children coming home to their families. First new DSDW board members, then unfortunately the protests caused more delays and disruptions of all Thai governments, and now, one of the social workers changed positions and 2 new social workers are being trained to process US adoptions. (With 2 SW replacing 1 SW I pray things begin to turn around)
Three months ago, when we were matched, our wait time for travel was 12 months. Current time frames, families have been waiting up to 17 months! A year is too long to wait to bring your child home. A year and a half is outrageous!!!!
I am personally having the most difficult time waiting. At 3 months in, I know, there are so many other families waiting longer than us, I should not feel this bad. (I feel guilty) Some days I wonder if I'm going to be able to endure the wait.
First I need to get all unrealistic expectations out of my thoughts. Beginning with the first timeline, we were told a 9-12 mo wait to bring our child home....now it is doubled! 17mo and counting.
We were expecting bringing home a child around 17mo.old. Our Button is 14 mo old now, it looks like he might be 2 1/2 years old (by the current time frames) when he is home.
Honestly, his age when he is home is not nearly as difficult as the current wait time to bring him home. The wait times are just not fair. I do not want anyone waiting this long to bring their child home. No one should.
Sadly, it is time to send his second care package and I cannot bring myself to even get it together. I should be excited and ready to send it to the day of the 3 month anniversary. I wanted to wait to send it after we received his update, but guess what....delayed! I really don't know why I thought it would be on time NOTHING has been on time so far. So if this package is a week later out then the rest of our care packages will be a week set back. Boo.
The wait is not just affecting me, but our whole family. Jude cannot wait to have her little brother home, yet she has a hard time understanding why we cannot go to Thailand and get him.
One day when my mom was watching her, she was carrying a map of Thailand, and said she
needed to think about Thailand.
Another day before pre school she looked at his picture and told me she missed him (all teary eyed).
And my favorite was the day she told me how she had dreamt of her brother and they were playing together having fun.
I feel I need to say something positive, at a year and a half into our adoption, we were matched in 9 months, 3 months before we were estimated. We are half way through the estimated 30-36 month timeframe to bring our button home.
We met a family thru Holt's Winter Jam concert and have encouraged them to pursue international adoption. Yay!
So this black cloud needs to move on.
Let's pray for peace in Thailand, the adoption board is able to approve families, and all our children are home soon.
I have been trying to post this blog for a week or 2 and my iPad will not let me....so I don't post. Then a friend asked me what was going on in adoption world since there wasn't a new post.....
And that is it... No news, or at least good news. So here is the news, bad and all. And I am sad. Sad. Sad.
It seems since the fall 2013 everything is slowing down, WAY down in adoption world. There has been few first approvals (thai government approval to adopt) and fewer children coming home to their families. First new DSDW board members, then unfortunately the protests caused more delays and disruptions of all Thai governments, and now, one of the social workers changed positions and 2 new social workers are being trained to process US adoptions. (With 2 SW replacing 1 SW I pray things begin to turn around)
Three months ago, when we were matched, our wait time for travel was 12 months. Current time frames, families have been waiting up to 17 months! A year is too long to wait to bring your child home. A year and a half is outrageous!!!!
I am personally having the most difficult time waiting. At 3 months in, I know, there are so many other families waiting longer than us, I should not feel this bad. (I feel guilty) Some days I wonder if I'm going to be able to endure the wait.
First I need to get all unrealistic expectations out of my thoughts. Beginning with the first timeline, we were told a 9-12 mo wait to bring our child home....now it is doubled! 17mo and counting.
We were expecting bringing home a child around 17mo.old. Our Button is 14 mo old now, it looks like he might be 2 1/2 years old (by the current time frames) when he is home.
Honestly, his age when he is home is not nearly as difficult as the current wait time to bring him home. The wait times are just not fair. I do not want anyone waiting this long to bring their child home. No one should.
Sadly, it is time to send his second care package and I cannot bring myself to even get it together. I should be excited and ready to send it to the day of the 3 month anniversary. I wanted to wait to send it after we received his update, but guess what....delayed! I really don't know why I thought it would be on time NOTHING has been on time so far. So if this package is a week later out then the rest of our care packages will be a week set back. Boo.
The wait is not just affecting me, but our whole family. Jude cannot wait to have her little brother home, yet she has a hard time understanding why we cannot go to Thailand and get him.
One day when my mom was watching her, she was carrying a map of Thailand, and said she
needed to think about Thailand.
Another day before pre school she looked at his picture and told me she missed him (all teary eyed).
And my favorite was the day she told me how she had dreamt of her brother and they were playing together having fun.
I feel I need to say something positive, at a year and a half into our adoption, we were matched in 9 months, 3 months before we were estimated. We are half way through the estimated 30-36 month timeframe to bring our button home.
We met a family thru Holt's Winter Jam concert and have encouraged them to pursue international adoption. Yay!
So this black cloud needs to move on.
Let's pray for peace in Thailand, the adoption board is able to approve families, and all our children are home soon.
Friday, January 31, 2014
The day I did not order Thai
Wednesday January 8th was a DSDW board date in Thailand adoption world. Every board date since we began the process of adopting our child I have ordered lunch off the Thai menu of the Asian restaurant across the street, hoping to bring good news to the waiting families and the hopes of a referral. Today, I forgot to order Thai! I was so distracted, I kept going back and forth from pad thai, sunset fried rice, veggie lo main, or sesame chicken.....last minute I ordered veggie lo main and chicken with mixed vegetables....too much food and something I never order.
So let me give you some insight to why I was so distracted, yesterday, the electricity was shut off for mainence check. Ok middle of winter, it's not cold here..(sarcasm). 2 hours or so, it was getting chilly, gas fire place, check we were toasty. That morning, after a flush, my toilet didn't sound right...ah no worries, I'll flush again later it will be fine....by evening I thought I'll try flushing again, no worries, not working right, Steve will be home tomorrow, he can plunge it. (ie. I HATE plunging, it totally grosses me out! Germ-a-phobe right here. The thought of germs sloshing around, vapors in the air...egk...gross....Can. Not. Deal. So house is cold I'm going to take a shower (shower stall type). Ummmm drain in shower not working!!! Agghh. Water is tipping the brim! What the crap! I cave and plunge the shower, the toilet. Not. Working. Gross!!!! Steve's shower is working, (and yes we have separate bathrooms, life is better this way).
The next morning, I have to sign Jude up for pre school. I wake up because I am so COLD!
It is 55 degrees in my house!!!! Why is that light not on! Power is out again!! Ugh. School is closed again, it is less than 7 degrees out side. School is closed, no preschool sign ups (been trying to sign her up since Monday and it's canceled, taking off work to stand in line to get into "the preschool" with only 12 spots!). Ugh no electric, it is estimated to turn on by 8-9pm....."Baby it's cold outside" singing in my head.
So back to my lunch order, between us 3 ladies we were ready to eat! We each had multiple orders, 2 items each. I was making the call, cause we are on first name basis. Half way thru the order, my
phone rings, it's Holt! (With my special ring tone). I stare at it. Toss the work phone to my colleague point to where I am on the list and run into the splinting room! And in a professional voice, I hear, "hello Michelle, this is Jessica from Holt in the Thailand program".....(do you really think I don't know who you are!) " I just tried calling your husband and he didn't answer"...( he never does when he is out of town. But I'm really thinking you called him first!!!! Really!!!! ) Ha ha. In my excitement, I gather myself together, and tell her it's a great time to talk. I hear the most beautiful words a mother could hear. "We have a little boy referral for you to consider." Ahhh. She goes into some details about his story, (which will be his to tell if he chooses). Then asks, "would you like to look at his file". Of course!
We have a son! Born on valentines day. Precious little boy, you give me a reason to celebrate that dreadful holiday! Yay.
Steve is on his way home, I wanted to look at the file together, but wait no electricity! I talk to him
and we decide I open the file at work (it's more secure at the clinic anyways) I was also able to
securely send his pediatrician his files. I should hear from her tomorrow, no worries.
I have to pick Jude up from my mom and dads, holy cow, must contain excitement around them! 2 hour visit, waiting on Steve to check if electric is on at our house so we can look at our little button's files together. We decide not to go to our small group meeting at church, we know everyone will ask, how is the adoption going...(.there is NO WAY we would be able to sit with a straight face) plus we cannot wait any longer to see our SON! Electric is on! Jude and I head home, praises she fell asleep. Steve and I can look at his file in quiet. Look at our SON! It doesn't matter what the doc might find. He is ours, we are his Family.
Random things I do not want to forget:
Saturday Jude started introducing herself, my name is Jude Elizabeth, big girl sister. I think she knew something.
Jude was registered for preschool, #8 slot! Referral on the 8th.
Steve said he thought something good was going to happen on the 8th, I on the other hand, was not
expecting our referral.
8 is my number of choice, or favorite number.
In this whirlwind of our referral, there was a chemical leak, don't drink the water (DMB in my head) it has contaminated multiple counties, over 300,000 people affected. Holy cow!!! Luckily we are in a different water service than most people around us! The clinic was closed as well as everything else.
We had our families over for dinner on Sunday January 12 for dinner, half of them did not have water, and told them of our new SON!
On January 14 we emailed our acceptance note.
January 20 sent out our paperwork and first care package.
Hopefully all our acceptance paper work will be sent out to Thailand on Friday
So let me give you some insight to why I was so distracted, yesterday, the electricity was shut off for mainence check. Ok middle of winter, it's not cold here..(sarcasm). 2 hours or so, it was getting chilly, gas fire place, check we were toasty. That morning, after a flush, my toilet didn't sound right...ah no worries, I'll flush again later it will be fine....by evening I thought I'll try flushing again, no worries, not working right, Steve will be home tomorrow, he can plunge it. (ie. I HATE plunging, it totally grosses me out! Germ-a-phobe right here. The thought of germs sloshing around, vapors in the air...egk...gross....Can. Not. Deal. So house is cold I'm going to take a shower (shower stall type). Ummmm drain in shower not working!!! Agghh. Water is tipping the brim! What the crap! I cave and plunge the shower, the toilet. Not. Working. Gross!!!! Steve's shower is working, (and yes we have separate bathrooms, life is better this way).
The next morning, I have to sign Jude up for pre school. I wake up because I am so COLD!
It is 55 degrees in my house!!!! Why is that light not on! Power is out again!! Ugh. School is closed again, it is less than 7 degrees out side. School is closed, no preschool sign ups (been trying to sign her up since Monday and it's canceled, taking off work to stand in line to get into "the preschool" with only 12 spots!). Ugh no electric, it is estimated to turn on by 8-9pm....."Baby it's cold outside" singing in my head.
So back to my lunch order, between us 3 ladies we were ready to eat! We each had multiple orders, 2 items each. I was making the call, cause we are on first name basis. Half way thru the order, my
phone rings, it's Holt! (With my special ring tone). I stare at it. Toss the work phone to my colleague point to where I am on the list and run into the splinting room! And in a professional voice, I hear, "hello Michelle, this is Jessica from Holt in the Thailand program".....(do you really think I don't know who you are!) " I just tried calling your husband and he didn't answer"...( he never does when he is out of town. But I'm really thinking you called him first!!!! Really!!!! ) Ha ha. In my excitement, I gather myself together, and tell her it's a great time to talk. I hear the most beautiful words a mother could hear. "We have a little boy referral for you to consider." Ahhh. She goes into some details about his story, (which will be his to tell if he chooses). Then asks, "would you like to look at his file". Of course!
We have a son! Born on valentines day. Precious little boy, you give me a reason to celebrate that dreadful holiday! Yay.
Steve is on his way home, I wanted to look at the file together, but wait no electricity! I talk to him
and we decide I open the file at work (it's more secure at the clinic anyways) I was also able to
securely send his pediatrician his files. I should hear from her tomorrow, no worries.
I have to pick Jude up from my mom and dads, holy cow, must contain excitement around them! 2 hour visit, waiting on Steve to check if electric is on at our house so we can look at our little button's files together. We decide not to go to our small group meeting at church, we know everyone will ask, how is the adoption going...(.there is NO WAY we would be able to sit with a straight face) plus we cannot wait any longer to see our SON! Electric is on! Jude and I head home, praises she fell asleep. Steve and I can look at his file in quiet. Look at our SON! It doesn't matter what the doc might find. He is ours, we are his Family.
Random things I do not want to forget:
Saturday Jude started introducing herself, my name is Jude Elizabeth, big girl sister. I think she knew something.
Jude was registered for preschool, #8 slot! Referral on the 8th.
Steve said he thought something good was going to happen on the 8th, I on the other hand, was not
expecting our referral.
8 is my number of choice, or favorite number.
In this whirlwind of our referral, there was a chemical leak, don't drink the water (DMB in my head) it has contaminated multiple counties, over 300,000 people affected. Holy cow!!! Luckily we are in a different water service than most people around us! The clinic was closed as well as everything else.
We had our families over for dinner on Sunday January 12 for dinner, half of them did not have water, and told them of our new SON!
On January 14 we emailed our acceptance note.
January 20 sent out our paperwork and first care package.
Hopefully all our acceptance paper work will be sent out to Thailand on Friday
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